Cuck-a-do-the-do
I like to cuck a guy.
As a kid, we knew about that bird — the jerk who pushed out the nest of eggs and pretended to be the only birdie for the mommy and daddy to feed.
To be cuckold meant you were the loser. And who was the dumb ass who wanted that?
Apparently lots.
Enough for a genre of porn and for threesomes with pairs and unicorns to exist. Unicorn, bull, breeder, words I didn’t know until I yolo-ed.
“So your husband likes to be a cuck?” Someone asked. In fact, many someones. The same someone who got kinky and horny knowing they online fucked a MILF with a husband.
The lucky few guys who met me and got an extra taste, leveled up.
“No,” I said firmly. I was annoyed, despite reeling in nets of fish when the men learned I was a MILF. I was bothered because I knew what I had with H wasn’t that kind of relationship.
Our bond was deeper than the abyss and longer than magma forming under the crust of marriage. Yes, there is love but it is also loyalty that lasts. A friendship, understanding, and sacrifice. Wanting the best for each other.
Trades and compromises. His happiness is more important than mine because he has been putting us before him for decades, and it is his time to enjoy life again.
So I had to put it right. I googled and researched, and this was what I told them.
“It’s all about power play,” I said. “There are three types of sex. Hotwives, Cuckolding and Netorare (NTR).”
“What do you mean power play?” They asked.
“Power play — control, dominance, or who’s the one calling the shots. In the case of the three types, the three people involved — Husband, wife, and third person, one of them owns the power.”
“I’m the Hotwife, and H is my Hothusband.”
“Hotwife?”
“Yes. Like hot or not. All the pics and vids you’ve seen on my insta and the stuff I shared. H took more than half of them. He enjoys showing me off, and when I see him dress up and swipe the girls off their feet, I feel proud.”
We were partners in crime. Talking about our dates, in my case, meetings and sex, and what I did. Unfortunately, unlike him, I had yet to find my FWB, which meant I was still sleeping with somewhat random guys who sweet-talked and bolted out the door.
It was getting closer to our two-year anniversary of yolo-ing, and just when I thought I was close to settling down, fate took a turn and took away the one who was meant for me. But such were the twists and turns, and meeting good friends with benefits is always hard, maybe harder than actually finding a partner.
Why? Because with dating and getting to know someone, if sex sucks, you could tell yourself at least you love the person and overcome it with denial. That is until you decide to marry that person, which I always suggest — think twice if the sex sucks because you’ll be with that person, hopefully forever.
“I haven’t had sex with her for two years,” said a guy who was doing a long-distance with his girlfriend in South Korea. “And the last time I went back, I was sick so I didn’t feel like it.”
“Yes, of course,” I replied. “But, didn’t you feel like touching her? Weren’t you excited to see her?” I would be. So crazy for the guy I’d be dreaming of fucking him every day till I meet. And I’m not talking about love.
“I’m the type of guy who won’t chase. She liked me more than I liked her and that’s enough.”
“Really? Don’t you want to be addicted to her?” I asked.
“My mother doesn’t like her,” he said. “They are worried that I’d marry her.”
“Why? Rebellion?” I asked.
“No.” He laughed.
“Status?” I asked. This was common in Asia. Parents and families want equal or higher-ranking marriages. A marriage wasn’t about two people. It came with an entourage of family and expectations. That was why marriages of convenience and “friendship marriages” were growing in popularity in Japan, China, and Korea.
Friendship marriages - a non-sexual marriage where both parties agree to find their sexual needs elsewhere and economically benefit each other. In other words, OPEN relationships were becoming a trend. Except in my case with H and I, we married for love and felt it was time to explore hook-ups which we missed in our earlier years.
“I’m going to marry her,” he said.
“Why?”
“Because she’d been with me for a long time. She is working hard and I’ll bring her here when I have my green card.”
“I don’t get it.” True. I didn’t get it, sounded to me that the woman had won a green card lottery with him.
“I have been cheated four times. I caught two of my exes with other guys,” he said. “My mother arranged meetings with other girls with good backgrounds. I met a lawyer and a doctor but I don’t like them.”
“Oh my god….it’s like kdrama man!” I laughed.
This was totally coming out of a kdrama. This guy was one of those guys. He lived in Gangnam. Tall, more than decent-looking Korean guy, an honest guy, with a Berkeley college education. His parents are decently wealthy to send him abroad to study and he is pursuing getting his green card to stay in the US for good. Granted, we match in backgrounds but I’m more than married. Plus, we are both looking for Friends with Benefits and he is a little too meek for my taste.
Still, he would be a good catch for a pretty, smart Korean girl in South Korea who wanted a fresh start in life.
“Does your girlfriend have a bad background?”
“She grew up with her mother,” he said.
“Oh my god…” This was kdrama. “I just watched a drama about single-child parents and how families think they are less in personality because of that.”
“Yeah. I don’t care about that,” he said.
“Yeah. Of course.” I rolled my eyes.
“But, not that. You both are doing long distance for two years. Why are you sticking with your girlfriend? You are here and she is there. She could be seeing someone right now.”
“Maybe. But she is loyal,” he said. “And I talk to her every day.”
“Duh. Dude. I talk to some of the guys in Korea every day too. For…one and half years since I began this yolo thingy. But I’m not getting married to them. Talk is easy. I’m not saying you should follow the status quo and marry a woman your mom picks because that sucks.”
Yeah. I’m in my rebellious stage. Better late now than never. Maybe it’s because I’ve everything so it was easy for me to say no and if I were them, be stubborn about finding someone I could fuck well and love.
“She is almost thirty. She is feeling the pressure to marry,” he said.
“Take it from me. Marriage is a serious decision. Divorce isn’t fun and yes, you can be open but what kind of life is that?” I asked.
Yes, I’m being two-faced about it. I’m playing the game but telling everyone not to play it.
“Does your husband get jealous?” He asked.
“Sure. I get jealous too.”
“So you think you will go back to before?”
“No. How can we?” I said. “Also, I won’t go back. We like what we have now.”
Hot couple. Cucks to the single guys who want to nail me. To be honest, even if I explained it to them over and over again, this was what they liked. Sexual fantasies, the feeling of doing something illegal.
Night came fast. I met him in his car once again. Climbed on him and sat on his lap. It was tight in the back seats but he didn’t care. He loved stuffing his face in my big boobs. Nursing on my nipples like a baby. We played in his car, his hands all over my ass. Lips on my skin.
“You have the perfect body for me. I love your curves. I haven’t had sex in so long. I’m afraid I might not know how.”
“It’s okay. I’ll show you how…” I grinned. Corruption was part of the fun. Sex was meant to be naughty.
“I never done in the car before,” He said.
But before we could play more than boobs, a security car came over and honked at us.
The thrill of fucking someone’s girl. Taking what isn’t theirs. Hiding from their partners and finding pleasures from someone else because they couldn’t get what they needed.
Until reality hit, they’d pound till their minds go blank, and so will I. Because guilt lays in the one who lies, and it wasn’t me.